Perhaps...

my mind swirls, a whirlpool, emotions caught up,
having what I have but do not want,
wanting what I can’t have.
frustrating thoughts and unbridled feelings,
my confusion lasts and lingers.
the cacophony of voices in my mind,
fighting for dominance amongst one another.
contentious and bitter am I,
against whom but myself.
contemplation of the future before me,
is it all to be as I see and weep?
sorrow of lost adventures, missed opportunities.
the dereliction of duties present,
as I fight to chase away my demons,
or is it I being chased?
thoughts chased and herded,
pushed towards the abyss, the void.
my struggle persists, clarification is lost.
serenity is but a whisper in the night, I hear her call,
but like mist she passes through my fingers.
gone, blackness, nothing there,
drained of meaning my soul is parched,
thirsting for the influx of purpose,
and light to cut the dark.
I bow my head, and hold back the rain,
but the clouded thoughts persist and push.
so tired and weak, losing the will to fight,
but I must, no matter the struggle,
hold on, hold on, perhaps, just perhaps,
in time coming not too distant,
this storm will pass and the clouds will clear.
…perhaps.